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How to Create a Winning Profile

Whether you're writing your very first online dating profile or you're updating an existing profile that doesn't seem to be delivering the kinds of results you've been hoping for, the following tips will help you construct that winning profile that has the greatest chances of getting you the matches you want.

  • Honesty Above All Others: The bad reputation online dating used to have came mostly from people being dishonest with one another and misrepresenting themselves, through both their photos and the content in their profiles. This is a capital No-No. Not only does it do a disservice to the people you're trying to meet but it does so to yourself as well. Trying to meet someone under false pretenses only spells disaster, as you'll never meet someone that way who can be genuinely interested in the real you.

  • Keep it Upbeat: People recoil from negativity. Even negative people are repelled by it (which is why they're constantly complaining about it). No one wants meet a sourpuss, not even another sourpuss. So save your negative comments for your therapist, and when you write your online dating profile, put your best foot forward. Even if you have things you want to include that aren't exactly positive, there are positive ways to frame them. For example, instead of writing down what you don't want, write down what you do want. And, to refer back to the first tip in this list, being honest does not mean providing a disclaimer of all your negative qualities up front. Highlight your positive qualities and you'll be more likely to find someone who brings them out in you even more. Who knows? You may even find your negative qualities dwindling as a result.

  • Spice it Up: We can all recite the standard personal ad prototype - "likes movies, music, dancing, walks on the beach" or "honest and loving person with a good sense of humor seeking same". Yawn! 99% of the people out there fit these qualities. Tell us something we don't know about you. "I like Dave Matthews, mindless action-suspense films, Latin dancing, and although I've only been to Honolulu once, I have a dream of one day walking each and every beach in the Hawaiian Islands." Now that's interesting. And it's interesting because it's unique. Trade out boring, cliché,  common generalities in your profile with details and specifics. Even if you don't necessarily get more responses this way, you will absolutely get more compatible ones.

  • Use Your Profile as a Filter: In line with the previous two tips, your profile should help you filter out the singles who don't fit your criteria with those who do. So give them your criteria. Part of being specific is helping the people who read your profile to figure out whether or not they're what you're looking for every bit as much as whether you're what they're looking for. In order to do this, you have to tell them what you're looking for. So don’t just be specific about who you are and what you enjoy. Be specific as well about what you want in the person you're hoping to meet.

  • Learn from the Best: Lastly, as you browse others' profiles on the online dating sites you peruse, don't just look for people you find attractive and compatible. Look for people whose profiles catch your attention and ignite your imagination. Identify what it is you like about another's profile and emulate that characteristic in your own. Learn from the profiles you like how to write your profile.
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